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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Why?

Today is kind of an on/off day for me. What's the other term for that again? Oh, mood swings. I thought I had already moved on from this phase but it seems that I have not. Who ever moves on from getting mood swings anyway?

I hate how I see myself acting towards certain things sometimes. I over think a lot so with that, comes over feeling, if you get what I mean. It comes to the point that I literally slap myself in the face just to jump back to reality. It's frustrating, really. I actually know the problem with myself, I just don't know how to fix it. I am too oversensitive. You see, my temperament comes from my dad and my being emotional is from my mom. I think my mother passed onto me double the size of her heart when she birthed me. Tell me, how can you fix such a thing like that? I know this may sound too dramatic, but it's really such a burden to carry all these emotions and no matter how hard I try to not care or even just care a little bit, I always end up opening my heart widely.

I remember my high school adviser asking me why I carry other people's problems on my shoulders. I didn't have an answer to that, actually, I just do.

That is my dilemma.

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