Everything is out there

Hi. I'm still alive but I barely go online anymore. Well, technically, I do come online but I don't get to spend my internet time on social networking anymore. It's like my life has really been solely focused on going to school then coming home and then back again. Oh well, that's the life of a college junior, I guess. I didn't think I could survive going on with my life without the internet for more than a day as it is how I spend every waking hour of my days when I don't have school but it is possible. When you're busy you simply don't think about these stuff. But I do think of the things I do (like wasting time on Tumblr, ha!) and the people I talk to online and how I miss it. You can tell how much of a web junkie I am from that last statement. Haha.

Since I got so busy with school though, I've been discovering these little details about myself as I interact with people in the real world. (Technically, it's just the real world as in "school world" since I rarely go out as well because of school works. How fun, right?) Some of these things I already knew but lately, as I experience things I end up drawing conclusions about these "facts".

I realized how severe I overthink things. It's like, when you ask me a question, an answer comes into my head but then I think it's not enough and when I come up with the "enough" answer, I scrutinize my grammar first before I can give you an answer. But the process of re-thinking can go on forever. It's like the neurons in my brain talk to each other for a long period of time and they forget to send me the information afterwards so I end up not understanding my own ideas. By the time I do, the asker probably has moved on to another topic/question. And I do this because I'm afraid to be told that I'm wrong. I'm afraid that's one of my biggest weaknesses. That's why I prefer writing than speaking.

It also dawned on me that I'm really not that good of a leader. I mean, I try my best if I'm assigned to be one but it doesn't come natural to me. I'm just good at barking orders. (Haha, not really, of course I ask people nicely and kindly.) I'm more of a team person, that is, when the whole team really participates. If not, I would just be really pissed off.

Isn't it ironic how by going out and exploring you end up finding things about your inner self? Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. I can't speak for other people but we could really use this better understanding of ourselves because in my opinion, when we know and understand how we function, how we think, how we act and how we respond to things, we end up making wise decisions for ourselves and probably less mistakes as well. And all will be well once we start to take that step of making positive change within ourselves first. Like what Michael Jackson said, "I'm starting with the man in the mirror". :)

Blabberbox

I’m sick and I’ve never been this sick in a long time. I was able to survive the summer heat without cough and colds but now, my system finally caught the virus. I don’t think this would go away soon because of the crazy weather we have. It’s literally hot and cold…and then hot again. I feel really under the weather and I’m too lazy to do anything, which at this point is definitely not a good thing. Since school is already starting to give me burden, I can’t afford to just lay here and just forget the world… (Yeah, Snow Patrol.)

Anyway, it’s Usher’s concert tomorrow and my friend really wants to go but he doesn’t have anyone to go with him. I was joking with him today in class that I already have money to buy a ticket for the show and his face lit up immediately. Too bad I was really just joking. And too bad I’m feeling under the weather because if not, he might have convinced me to go. If only Mother Nature would give me a day or two of just cloudy weather, but no, I’m pretty sure it’s not gonna happen. I’m gonna have to live with my cough and colds for a little while. :(

How I wish it’s Saturday already!!!!

P.S. I'm gonna watch the new Pretty Little Liars to lift my spirits a bit. It's my new guilty pleasure. ;)

Eclipse

Today I had a very much needed break from school by watching Eclipse with my lovely friends. Yeah, I know it hasn't been a whole month yet since regular classes started but I already feel like crap seeing as my only free time is Sunday. I should be thankful a bucket load of projects haven't been thrown our way yet or else I wouldn't know of the meaning of "free time." I don't even get the sense of "TGIF" anymore because Fridays are most sucky for me. Sigh.

Anyway, this post wasn't supposed to be about school, sorry about that. So I watched Eclipse with my friends this afternoon and I think, for me, it did not disappoint at all. It was actually an improvement from the last two films. (Although, this opinion might be biased because Eclipse was my favorite book of the saga.) I gotta say, though, that I enjoyed the extra make-out scenes between Edward and Bella. Major kilig factor. Haha. Screw Jacob and his doggy ways. I'm still and forever will be Team Edward although Jacob claims that he is "hotter". My friend says she's Team Jacob just because he's hot. And he's so cute as a werewolf. Well, I think vampires are more amazing, especially if he's as "old school" and gentlemanly as Edward. <3

I actually enjoyed hanging out with this certain group of friends of mine after a long time. I guess it was silly of me having thoughts about how it would feel different and maybe awkward because I haven't been normally hanging out with them at school unlike before. But it totally wasn't, though, and I like that. I think that just goes to show that you don't need spending time together most of the time to define friendship. Sometimes a little distance can do you good. And the best thing is you know you can count on them still even if you don't see each other all the time. :)