Friday, April 2, 2010

The Way I Are

I think I know why I stop getting in touch with people, in general.

My mom just asked me if I hadn't sent any emails to my brother as of late, if I hadn't asked how they've been doing. And no, I haven't, as a matter of fact. The thing is, I believe that people will tell you things if they want to, if they want you to know. I have always been bad at having the initiative to talk to people or ask how they are doing, in this case. Unless, I'm really friendly that day. So I just don't. I do nothing. Unless, I'm instructed to. Like what my mom practically just did.

But just so you know, this isn't just about my brother. It's about a lot of things, involving a good bunch of people I care about. Sometimes I hate how I am, you know? I mean, how can I not when I think like this?

For instance, I think of it as people's "privacy". My friend's, for example. I tend to notice stuff, things that go on between people, things that go on in my circle. But sometimes I leave it be even if I really know nothing about it and it just stays as a hunch or a good/bad feeling within me. I'm just not the kind of person to go about asking them what's going on. If they want to tell me, if they want me to know, then they'll say it to my face. Right? That's pretty much how my logic on these things go.

But let me tell you about a little problem that I have with this way of thinking, what if the person/people concerned think that if I don't ask about "it", then I'm not interested so then, they end up not telling me. That's when I get busted, right? Right. Now you see why I hate how I am. But I can't seem to change, though, that's the BIG problem. I have issues. I think I've pretty much established that already. :|

It's quite mind-boggling saying it out loud. Okay, writing it out loud, rather. I think more of this kind of rants will come your way since I pretty much have recurring experiences regarding this issue. FML, I know. So please, bear with me.

Oh, BTW, happy summer vacation to me. I have two whole months of doing nothing once again. Unless, I get a summer job and possibly be able to see Kelly Clarkson in concert in May. /crosses fingers

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