One time fun time

So guess what? After numerous failed attempts in the past year, today I actually got to meet up with one of my online friends, Romina. (Finally!!!) Yes, I do feel a sense of satisfaction in this little "achievement" of mine. LOL. It's fate I tell you. She texted me this morning and I wasn't able to respond because I forgot that I had no load the night before. But good thing she passed right where I was standing by. Yup, definitely fate.

And who could have thought that we would be able to bond over breakfast? I didn't. Thanks, Uncle Bob for that. Haha. It feels so nice to finally get to talk with her in person after only talking to her through internet and text for so long. :)

Let me scratch this post's title though, 'cause this definitely won't be the first and last time that we'll get to hang out IRL since we now go to the same university. Cheers to more fun times together! I hope Candice will get to tag along the next time!

I sing myself to sleep

On shuffle:

1. Rihanna - Te Amo
2. Katy Perry - Thinking of You (MTV Unplugged)
3. Sugababes - Hey There Delilah
4. Pixie Lott - Use Somebody (Kings of Leon Cover)
5. Pixie Lott - Nothing Compares
6. Pixie Lott - Cry Me Out
7. Pixie Lott - Gravity
8. Ne-Yo - Never Knew I Needed
9. Mariah Carey - I Still Believe
10. Katy Perry - Mannequin
11. Katy Perry - I'm Still Breathing
12. Monica - Angel of Mine
13. James Morrison - You Give Me Something
14. Alyssa Bernal - Hey, Soul Sister (Train Cover)
15. B.o.B. feat. Hayley Williams - Airplanes
16. B.o.B. feat. Bruno Mars - Nothin' On You

Good night. <3

Katy Perry - Mannequin

I don't remember actually writing about my watching Katy Perry's concert in Manila back in November of last year. (Probably because that was when I already lost all hope of ever going back to blogging.) Anyway, that night was one of the best ones I've ever had. Katy was simply amazing. She was so full of energy and spontaneity! And she talked a lot and made the audience laugh so that was a plus. Not to mention the songs she performed!! One of the Boys is one of my favorite albums and I am so glad I did what I did just to be able to watch the concert. I'm still kind of slightly bitter about her not singing Lost, though. It was one of my favorites.

But she did many of my other favorites to make up for it. And this--Mannequin--is one of my I-almost-cried-and-fainted-while-scream-singing moments. She didn't make it any easy for obsessed people like me, though, since the next song that she performed was Thinking Of You.

Things I don't normally talk about

Death.

There's nothing concrete about the thing until you yourself face it. I mean, sure, there are various dictionary definitions and there could be a million or more assumptions about death and dying. But the thing is, our faith only takes us as far regarding this topic.

Yesterday, I found out about an online friend passing. I met her through a Rihanna forum and yes, she's one huge Rihanna fan. I've learned she was planning to see her world tour several times in different countries. She was 16 years old. She would have had an amazing future ahead of her if she weren't gone so soon. I, myself, despite my faith, question why things like this have to happen to people like her. I'm just human, it's simply an automatic response. But as I think through it, I remember what I have grown to believe, that life-changing instances like death happen for a reason and that reason is only known to God Himself.

I fear the day that I will get to experience losing someone I love so easily, though, for I am not sure how or if my faith will be enough to pull me through that certain stuation. The only closest loved one I lost is my grandfather from my mother's side, and it was somehow, someway acceptable since he died at the age of 90. And we're happy when he closed his eyes peacefully because we know that his suffering has ended and he is now in God's company. From what I have noticed, my Lolo's passing actually made the family grow closer. We were close before but whenever we have gatherings to celebrate his birthday or any other family occasion we have, everyone just have their little funny anecdote. Somehow, I think that's one reason God took my Lolo when He did, because he wanted us to live happier and more peaceful.

Talk of my parents dying is a different story. It's kind of my blind spot. My dad often gives me this talk about how we would eventually have to carry on with our lives without them soon, blah blah blah... Everytime he starts I just zone out. I listen but I try to distract myself so as to not be affected and break down in tears eventually. I know that that is an inevitable situation but I'd like for my parents to still be here when I get married, you know, and have grandkids that they'll get the chance to raise and take care of. (Oh dear, God, hear my prayers.)

Sometimes I think I become very afraid of death to happen before my eyes to my most cherished loved ones that it has invaded my dreams and turned them into nightmares. I remember vividly how my best friend and my brother died in my dreams. Such horrendous situations, if you ask me. So terrifying for me, actually, that on the two occasions that I dreamt about it I woke up sobbing. Like, literally tears were overflowing from my eyes. I'd rather have Dementor nightmares than this kind of dreams any night.

Dementors

Yes, the Harry Potter kind.


One of my classmates was talking about him reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows for the second time and I shared that I, too, was planning to do the same (although I still haven't started yet even after promising to myself to do it pronto). That night we had that conversation, these f*cking dementors decided to pop up in my dream. Imagine my fear. I swear I still remember the feeling of my heart tightening and the only thing I can think of is "Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts" over and over.

And that brings me to my favorite awesome thing of the day:

#630 The moment after you wake up from a nightmare and suddenly realize it was all just a dream

Boy, was I relieved to find out that it was just indeed a dream. Now that's a happy thought!

Happy Monday

I was reading through Post Secret and I came across this blog that they featured on the new post, it's called 1000 Awesome Things. Like Post Secret which started out as just a blog and now has published books, it also has a book available for purchase now called "The Book of Awesome". They posted a trailer for the book:

Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I can't help but not share this. I also think the "awesome things" blog is an awesome idea. I have a lot to back read, though, since they are on #524 (countdown to #1) already.

P.S. Happy Mondays is one of my personal awesome things. Since it's the start of a new week, mostly a busy week at that, everytime something makes me smile on a Monday, it seems to carry on for the rest of the week.

So I hope this little video that I shared with you makes your Monday and your week! :-)

Adele - Make You Feel My Love

<3

Of chocolates & bacon and eggs

Have I told you that my nephews are such bright cute, little balls of happiness? If not, well, I am telling you now. Last night being Saturday night (PHT) we were on video chat with my brother in the States. My older nephew, having no sumpong, talked to us eagerly. Since it was morning on their side of the pond, they were having breakfast at the time and he asked me if I wanted to join them. I said, "No, thanks, it's nighttime here already so I don't need breakfast. I'll have it in the morning." Him being so bright, he remembered I was eating chocolate (Yan Yan, actually) a while ago and scolded me for doing so, "Why did you eat chocolate at nighttime? You don't eat chocolate at nighttime." Then, my brother told him to just say to me that I should drink lots of water.

Him: Okay, you need to drink lots and lots of water so you will feel better. If you don't drink lots of water then you will cough and cough and cough because it's nighttime.
Me: [Grabbing my tumbler] I drank water after I ate the chocolate but I'll drink again for you. See, I'm drinking lots of water [as I point to my tumbler].
Him: Okaaaay!
(Then he rans off to play Rock Band again.)

I told you he's one bright ball of happiness. :)

As for my younger nephew, he's one cuter, funnier little one. He's fond of sinangag (fried rice), too fond, actually, that he only eats it plain. But when his brother was eating bacon and eggs, he enthusiastically grabs a piece of bacon and stuffs it in his little mouth. Then he grabs another one and just holds it while he was playing. Moments later he came back to grab the eggs. He has one hell of an appetite, mind you, because later on he was eating chocolate pretzels for dessert. LOL.

Although we stayed up until half-past one in the morning, it was nice sharing laughs with my brother and the kids. Sure does lessens the longing of wanting to wrestle them to the ground with hugs and kisses even for a little while.

I can't forget what I always remember

I typed that out just wanting to sound clever (and have something to post on Tumblr) but now that I read it over and over, it clearly makes a lot of sense to me, personally. Oh, how clever my unconscious is.

Hairography

I didn't make such a big deal out of getting a haircut like, ever. Well, that was until yesterday when I finally had my hair cut to shoulder-length. Finally.

Someone on Twitter asked if it was a big step for me (after complimenting how good it looks /blush) and I was nodding mad crazy while typing my reply as if she could see me. And it was, really. I've always worn my hair long ever since I can imagine, well, ever since it grew long and I never had a major cut like this before so, yes, it was kind of a big deal for me. It was as well for my friends since most of them have been bugging me to try and cut it off for the past couple of years, more or less. So when I finally did, I sent them all text messages saying that I finally cut my hair short. Of course, they all asked for a picture. So I plastered my face on Facebook and tagged them. (Wala nang hiya, bagong gupit naman ako eh! HAHAHA)

I'm glad a lot of people like the "new look". :) It made it much easier not to miss my long locks. Hehe. And I gotta say, my head feels loads lighter than before, so I think I'd wear my hair short for a while. And besides, it's summer here in MNL! Yan ang beach-ready na hairstyle!

(P.S. Sorry for this self-gratuitous post! Minsan lang naman, pagbigyan na hehehe!!)

The Original Idol

Now I know who I used to go gaga over before Rihanna.

Kelly Clarkson.

I mean, I still love her, hence this blog, but back in the day when I was about 9 or 10, I was crazy about Kelly. Fo shizzle. I never got to watch American Idol then when she was competing but I fell madly in love with "A Moment Like This" when it was released. I loved her too much then that I made my brother's girlfriend buy me her debut album the first time they took me out to a movie. Told ya I was crazy for KC.

Now this little rant all boils down to this:


You see the date? It's less than a month from now. I have less than a month to get a hold of P4,500 for Upper Box A tickets. I don't know how I will do that yet. Maybe I can blackmail/charm my brother into giving me at least half of the price or I can actually get a summer job to earn it.

So, my master plan right now is to convince mother and father to let me take a summer job, preferably where mother works, because the person who owns the business is a family friend, therefore, there's a bigger chance of me getting hired and actually getting paid a reasonable amount, holla! (Wow, that's a really long sentence. I use commas a lot, don't I?)

The Way I Are

I think I know why I stop getting in touch with people, in general.

My mom just asked me if I hadn't sent any emails to my brother as of late, if I hadn't asked how they've been doing. And no, I haven't, as a matter of fact. The thing is, I believe that people will tell you things if they want to, if they want you to know. I have always been bad at having the initiative to talk to people or ask how they are doing, in this case. Unless, I'm really friendly that day. So I just don't. I do nothing. Unless, I'm instructed to. Like what my mom practically just did.

But just so you know, this isn't just about my brother. It's about a lot of things, involving a good bunch of people I care about. Sometimes I hate how I am, you know? I mean, how can I not when I think like this?

For instance, I think of it as people's "privacy". My friend's, for example. I tend to notice stuff, things that go on between people, things that go on in my circle. But sometimes I leave it be even if I really know nothing about it and it just stays as a hunch or a good/bad feeling within me. I'm just not the kind of person to go about asking them what's going on. If they want to tell me, if they want me to know, then they'll say it to my face. Right? That's pretty much how my logic on these things go.

But let me tell you about a little problem that I have with this way of thinking, what if the person/people concerned think that if I don't ask about "it", then I'm not interested so then, they end up not telling me. That's when I get busted, right? Right. Now you see why I hate how I am. But I can't seem to change, though, that's the BIG problem. I have issues. I think I've pretty much established that already. :|

It's quite mind-boggling saying it out loud. Okay, writing it out loud, rather. I think more of this kind of rants will come your way since I pretty much have recurring experiences regarding this issue. FML, I know. So please, bear with me.

Oh, BTW, happy summer vacation to me. I have two whole months of doing nothing once again. Unless, I get a summer job and possibly be able to see Kelly Clarkson in concert in May. /crosses fingers